Stephanie’s Story
When Sara’s mum, Stephanie, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, she approached it the way she approached everything in life, with practical planning and thoughtfulness for those around her.
“She said, ‘We need to sort the house, the finances and everything else.’ That was Mum, proactive, considerate and always thinking ahead.” Sara recalls
Stephanie, a retired teacher and gifted musician, was 68. She’d just begun to enjoy retirement with her husband. The diagnosis came after weeks of vague symptoms: weight loss, a lack of appetite and digestive discomfort. Doctors initially struggled to pinpoint the cancer’s origin. By the time it was confirmed as pancreatic cancer, the disease had already spread.
“It was hard hearing the words, but Mum was strong. She wanted to know everything upfront. ‘Give it to me all at once,’ she told the doctors. That helped her feel in control, even when her body wasn’t.”
Finding Joy in the Little Things
Stephanie endured eight months of treatment. “Or 172 days,” Sara adds. “She preferred to count the days she kept going. It sounded more impressive than ‘eight months.’”
During that time, Stephanie faced relentless challenges. A blood clot, a stent in her stomach, mouth ulcers from chemotherapy. Yet she kept her humour and focus. “She was reading Harry Potter, eating all the creamy, indulgent food she hadn’t touched in years and going out for frozen yoghurt. She didn’t let the cancer take everything.”
Sara often found herself juggling work and caregiving, constantly wondering, “Is today the last day?” But Stephanie didn’t want sadness to overshadow their time. “She said, ‘Don’t cry around me. We’re not here to be sad.’ It gave us permission to laugh, to talk about life.”
The Idea That Changed Everything
Sara works in digital media, producing podcasts and editing video. It was her idea for Stephanie to narrate her own eulogy. “I thought it would be like a podcast, but Mum ran with it. One day, she handed me her life story. She’d written the whole thing.”
Recording the eulogy became a project they worked on together. “It was emotional. There were moments she cried and told me to edit those parts out. But she also said, ‘Don’t leave anything important out. This is my story.’”
The process was therapeutic for Stephanie. “It gave her something to focus on. She was telling her story in her words. It was her way of taking back some control.”
A Celebration of Life
When Stephanie passed, her family honoured her wishes. She’d planned everything, the guest list, the music, even the photos. “Someone said it was the happiest funeral they’d ever been to,” Sara shares. “We had a choir, laughter and so much joy. That’s what Mum wanted. She didn’t want people to dwell on the cancer. She wanted them to remember her life.”
The eulogy was a surprise for everyone at the service. Hearing Stephanie’s voice moved the room. “Mum was funny, vibrant and so full of life. Her words brought her back to us, even just for a moment.”
Stephanie’s mantra, Enjoy your life and stress less, stayed with everyone who heard her story. “She taught us that life isn’t just about the hard times. It’s about the moments you choose to celebrate.”
Words to Remember
Sara carries her mum’s words with her every day. “Mum said she was sad she wouldn’t be there to hear what people said about her. But she made sure we knew who she was, the teacher, the musician, the mum who loved lists and frozen yoghurt. She didn’t let cancer define her.”
Click here to watch Stephanie's beautiful memorial video.
