When Richard’s wife, Tina was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, he stepped into the role of primary carer while raising their two sons, aged eight and fifteen at the time. The clinical demands were intense. The emotional toll was greater still. This wasn’t their first experience with cancer. Years earlier, Richard and Tina had navigated a long and exhausting breast cancer journey. Back then, they did it largely on their own. No roadmap. No structured support. Just endurance.
When Tina began treatment, Richard joined a counselling program designed for carers of people with pancreatic cancer. It wasn’t something he had gone looking for, but it became something he couldn’t imagine being without.
Two years later, he is clear about its impact:
Without that counselling, my family would be in a very different place today.
The counselling service provided more than emotional reassurance. It created a psychologically safe space at a time of sustained crisis. In Richard’s words, it offered relief amidst chaos - a place to ask questions, to make sense of complex medical information and to say the things that felt too heavy to carry alone.
“I could talk through anything - the treatment, the decisions, the emotions,” Richard shared. “It gave me clarity when everything felt overwhelming.”
That clarity mattered. Because alongside the clinical reality of pancreatic cancer was another, quieter challenge - helping his family understand what was happening, and what might come next.
With guidance, Richard and Tina chose honesty.
They spoke openly with their boys. About treatment. About uncertainty. Even about the possibility of death.
It wasn’t easy. But it changed everything.
“We had normalised those conversations,” Richard reflected. “It reduced fear, reduced anxiety — for all of us.”
It also allowed for space for Tina to focus on her ‘bucket list’ and for the family to come together on her terms.
Tina's bucket list adventure to the Great Ocean Road
Living through the unknown
Critically, counselling delivered practical tools. With professional guidance, Richard initiated open, developmentally appropriate conversations with his sons about their mother’s prognosis. He was also supported to have meaningful conversations with Tina, conversations he acknowledges would not have happened without intervention and forethought.
Richard was able to navigate urgent decisions, understand what was happening medically, and support his children through an unfolding reality no parent ever wants to explain.
He learned how to interpret the changes in Tina’s condition. How to prepare his boys. How to be present, even when everything felt like it was slipping away.
These facilitated discussions laid the foundations for healthier bereavement.
Tina's bucket list adventure to Lake Mountain
After loss, a different kind of journey
When Tina died, the world didn’t stop - but everything had changed.
For many families, this is where support falls away. But for Richard, it continued.
The counselling sessions became a steady anchor in the months that followed. A place to process grief, not just his own, but his children’s. A place to reflect, to reset and to keep moving forward.
It helped him navigate sleepless nights with his youngest son. The emotional waves of a close-knit community grieving alongside them. The quiet, personal moments where loss feels sharpest.
Today, he and his sons are thriving. Grief remains present, but it is integrated, not debilitating.
Richard contrasts this experience with a previous family cancer journey without formal support:
After 11 months of treatment years ago, I had absolutely nothing left in the tank. On this occasion, I feel emotionally stable and mentally able.
Looking forward with purpose
Looking back, Richard sees two very different journeys.
The first, years earlier, left him physically and emotionally depleted - with 'nothing left in the tank'.
The second, though ultimately more devastating, left him stronger. More stable, more aware, and more able to support his children and himself.
“I feel emotionally stable, mentally able… with room to think,” he said.
This kind of support demonstrates that counselling is not an adjunct service. It is a preventative mental health service. Investment in structured psychosocial support reduces long-term family distress, strengthens coping capacity and improves functional outcomes for families affected by pancreatic cancer.
When the right support is in place early, families are not only held through crisis, they are strengthened for what comes next.
Why this story matters
Pancreatic cancer remains one of the toughest common cancers in Australia. And with someone diagnosed every 2 hours - the impacts go beyond just one individual. Carers are our invisible heroes with their needs often overlooked.
When we support carers, we strengthen the care around every person diagnosed
This is an important step forward towards improving outcomes for people impacted by pancreatic cancer. It means understanding the full picture, including the experiences of those who care for people impacted by this disease.
Pankind Carers Support Program
The Pankind Carers Support Program offers free, confidential counselling for people who care for or support someone affected by pancreatic cancer. It's a dedicated space to talk about your experiences, and explore strategies that may be helpful - whether that's emotional support, practical guidance, or simply information to help you navigate your caring role.
