For Brandon, the phrase ‘family first’ isn't just words, it’s a survival manual written in his mother’s handwriting.
Brandon, now aged 21, grew up watching a masterclass in resilience passed down from his mum, Robin who was the definition of stoic according to her eldest son.
After losing his father when he and his three younger brothers were still small, 11 years ago, Brandon watched his mum put her head down and work. She didn’t just provide for her family, she was the mum that baked 200 cupcakes for school fundraisers, and would prepare hampers for the local police stations, hospitals and firehouses every holiday for as long as Brandon can remember.
It would be this spirit of generosity and toil that would prove to also be Brandon’s greatest strength.
As Brandon entered year 12 at school and his brothers were in years 10, 6 and 3, Robin was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic pancreatic cancer after experiencing back pain. The original diagnosis was an issue with her gallbladder, put down to family history. It wasn’t until during her surgery that the cancer presented itself to the surgeon.
When the doctors told Robin she had two months to live, Brandon watched his mum simply say, ‘no’ and refuse to accept that timeline.
She worked with an oncologist to have a plan of attack because she refused to come home and tell her four boys that they will soon be without any parents.
Brandon remembers his mum beginning her meticulous "transfer of power,” writing down every household process, login and contact so that Brandon could run the family and look after his brothers independently.
Four months after her diagnosis she had everything written down that I would need to know to be able to run the family, because that’s how her brain worked.
During those two years, Brandon took his mum to her chemotherapy appointments before school. He watched and helped her through all her treatment, providing support when her walking stick wouldn’t suffice.
When Brandon graduated, he didn’t get the typical teenage goodbye to his childhood, with celebrations and travel. Instead, he picked up three jobs, often working 70 hour weeks to support his three brothers and his mum. Robin became Brandon’s determination to put his family first and their bond as mother and son was clearer than ever.
‘When I woke up one morning and mum didn't really leave the bed and I came home to her in the same position. I got her up, fed her, gave her a drink and tried to get her moving and said if this persists I am taking you to the hospital. After two days of this being the same routine, I lifted her up out of bed, helped her down the stairs on my back and took her to the hospital before I went to work”
I wanted to show Mum the same love and care she showed me my whole life. I wanted her to have someone there, just as she had always been there for us.
Brandon knew when his mum's time was coming to an end. He looked at his mum and said "I've got this" and took the reins to ensure that his brothers were okay.
While Robin was in hospital looking for ways to extend her life, the impact on Brandon, his brothers and extended family was immense. However, Brandon continued to work during this time, and visited every single day.
“One night, I took all my brothers to see her after work, and stayed for quite a while. Mum was struggling to swallow her medication, I knew then that this disease had progressed. We spent all night until 7am the next day when she was finally able to swallow her medication. I did not sleep even for a second, just letting her rest between her trying to swallow. Even then still apologising for holding us up. But to me, I think she knew that she didn't have much time and wanted to spend one more night with us boys.”
Robin passed away on March 15th 2024, holding Brandon’s hand while surrounded by her own mum and sister. True to the manual she left him, Brandon didn’t break. That same afternoon he put his head down and organised the family and the funeral.
"Then just like mum would've done, I got to work because that's what I knew to do, keep the ball rolling and make sure everything is okay.”
Today, Brandon and his family are determined to honour Robin’s legacy. They are helping raise awareness of pancreatic cancer and the importance of research through supporting organisations like Pankind.
They are encouraging others to learn more about the signs and symptoms of pancreatic cancer, and to consider how they can support research through advocacy, awareness, or donating blood and plasma.
“My hope for the future is that we find better ways to treat cancer and, one day, to stop it. Because it is so incredibly cruel.”
His message to others navigating pancreatic cancer is simple.
Reach out. To family, to friends, to people in hospitals, research groups, or charities like Pankind. Most importantly, know you’re not alone. This affects everyone around you, so look after each other, and yourself.
